MY ORIGINAL INTENT WITH THIS POST, WAS TO ADDRESS MY CONCERN THAT MY DAUGHTER TREATS ME ONE WAY IN PUBLIC AND COMPLETLY DIFFERENT WHEN NO ONE IS AROUND. NOT LIKE A CHILD THAT IS SPOILED EITHER. A SPOILED CHILD WOULDNT SAY, TREAT, AND VIEW A PARENT AS MY DAUGHTER DOES. thanks.
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While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.
Now as a parent, I know what I would like and hope for my child’s views to be. I do my very best to constantly keep our environment one that she is able to build those views in. I check and review my child’s school work she brings home if not every day than every other. Writing the date every so often on her papers, before placing them in the ‘big box‘ [I save it all, until the day I feel I can safely go through and keep the “keepsake” want to have for whatever reason ones. and than dispose of the large amount of daily work.(I have literally saved everything from painting with hands and feet at about year and 4 months to current and will continue) I know no matter what it’s prof should ever be a question in any way about her or I. that’s all I will say.]
Basically to ever think I just exists in my child(ren)s life is simply incorrect. I am very active and involved in it. it’s hard having finally escaped from an abuser, give birth to my daughter. Only to end up with another abuser and finally another domestic violence thing. I can’t begin to share the mental and emotional … simply it’s a lot, it’s hard, and this is not the post for it.
What I can tell you, now after some time my daughter has and displays characteristics of an abuser. That one sentence or statement, fact is absolutely the second hardest thing I have ever had to say, do, and come to terms with. It absolutely breaks my heart, scares me, disgusts me, and yet I completely blame myself. objectively speaking as a survivor the emotions I feel from it only confirm it that much more. Making a negative in my personal life be a positive in my parental life, I am able to objectively look and approach [only once my personal emotions are calmed/balanced enough for me to] her. unfortunately with it directed towards me, it does no good. I don’t want it to be something she blames on herself. once again trying to make a negative be a positive now, every thing I have learned has taught me this. having being held at fault for something when really it wasn’t. is why I am so driven to ensure she has successes in life every step of the way, the paths she will and does pick.
To me, that’s unconditional tuff love. Something I feel I am very blessed having been raised with. against all odds, comments, and opinions (personal and not) my parents did.
I need to clarify that the type of abuser I am speaking of are in terms of domestic violence.
Samatha 